Knight to Queens Rook 3

What a tumultuous weekend.

This weekend I spent in the capital trying to see my daughter but because MCM decided that I need to fill in a form in triplicate and submit it for consideration a decade before I can actually arrange anything. This weekend was a bit of a lastminute.com affair with me only knowing 100% that I was going to make the trip on Thursday. I tried to let her know and got nothing but an answer machine, as I did on Friday....and Saturday. A red mist descends. I'm bloody furious as clearly she's done this out of sheer bloody mindedness as she KNOWS that I am coming and she certainly knows how difficult it is for me to just come up. Things take planning and more importantly - money.

The funding sourced it was all systems go, and yet, it was all stop. I stand in the street clenching and un-clenching my fists. I go to see her sister and get the kind of reception Hitler would get in Golders Green. OK, so that's how things are, I see. Well, never mind, you've clearly forgotten all the things I've done for you and the times I've bailed you out when you were stuck, but fine that's how it is. I retire to South-West burbs and meet up with my sister. I tell the story and she tells me a story and after toying with idea of Tesco's we both agree to say sod it and go to the pub - it is 4 pm.

My sister has certain things she is wrestling with and tells me about them and I offer what advice I can. We eat and drink and drink some more and then it would be rude to sit in a pub and not drink so we decide to have another drink. It's funny how 11 o'clock creeps up on you isn't it??

We return to her house after I have thought that its a REALLY good idea to text the heavenly body and tell her I love her. It's weird but as merry as I was I still felt totally compus mentus. I had to tell her and I'm glad I did but wasn't at all surprised I didn't receive an equally emotive message back.

I sleep a fitful and cold sleep woken at 5 am by the sun streaming in through the windows. I manage to return to a doze until about 7 am when my sisters housemate decided to go about the house in as much the same way as a bull elephant goes about evading capture. I lie there and watch 30 year old programmes on UK Gold as the clock ticks round to 9 am - I dress and make coffee feeling totally fine - my sister appears looking pail weary and wrecked and she quickly confirms this is the case. Bless her.

The day continues with me feeling totally lose endish and irritable and my sister either on the phone or wrestling with the reason that shes on the phone. My blood brother calls and we arrange a meet and I jump in the Cat and circle round to sexual to meet him I arrive half hour early and after doing some sums realise I can treat MLA to some new trainers which I source and buy - little white Nike classics with a pink tick - perfect.

I meet my bruv and we wander round the town and grab a burger and catch up and form plans and discuss forthcoming events. Whilst enjoying a coke with no ice but just lemon at what is now 3 pm on Sunday - I manage to locate and speak to MCM. I frostily inform her to meet me in an hour and we do. We have an exchange and after taking soundings as I drove round the north circular It is widely agreed on not to pursue my instincts and go off like a rocket but to remain calm but put my point across which with remarkable resolve I did.

MLA and I jump in the Cat and we purr off - but where? Where exactly is there to go? If it was 10 am we could have gone as daddy had planned to Kew Gardens and fed the ducks and watched the fish and played in the new kids area. There's no way on gods earth that's going to happen at this time of day. We go to the local park and we walk and chase birds and eat jaffa cakes and call Nana, Grandad and Auntie. I watch as her little face lights up as she hears their voices. It's heartbreaking but reassuring. After a while we find the play area and MLA enjoys the swings and the slide and the bouncers and plays with other kids, everyone of them under the watchful eye tantamount to inmates being watched by screws and I am no different.

2 hours have passed and MLA seems a little tired and bored with playing and I panic wondering what to do next but then as a drop of rain falls I decide that its time to return to the car. MCM calls and asks to pick up milk which I agree to and we return to the car and back to MCM's house. Her new beau now scarce and no longer am I subjected to the open displays of affection that I was treated to as they arrived. This did niggle me a little as I know that I was never used a little in that way. MCM was and is always very conscious of who and what is around and they impression that is given so this display was, I think mainly for my benefit which also angered me a little with MLA seeing me and at the same time MCM kissing another man. I addressed this with MCM later by phone and was told 'get used to it' and 'don't be so ridiculous - You never met my ex so there was never the opportunity but it would have been exactly the same' as Les Dennis was famous for saying - 'if it's up there I'll give you the money myself..........Eeeeeee-Urrrgggggh!' I once again advise MCM that all I want is harmony as none of need the grief. She'll consider it.

The next bit is a bit of a blur. This telephonic conversation took place you see on the M25 as I left MCM's to return for a pit-stop to my sisters before doing as the Pet Shop Boys did and Go West (life is peaceful there...etc etc etc) However it got round to it, the following conversation came up;

'Has MLA got her pooh bear?'

(quite matter of factly) 'No but you can get next time you're round there'

Eh? Why do you say that?

(sounding tired) 'Look it's none of my business who you are friends with; I'm not interested and I don't care so if you and (a certain person) are friends then its none of my business what you do or get up to, or anything - you and (a certain person) are your own people' my response was typically me;

'What?'

'Exactly what I said, I'm not overly happy about it and I've told you and (a certain person) about it but I cannot stop you being friends so do what you like, like I said its not my business.'

So now I don't know what to do. It's the statement I've been waiting for for weeks and months. Acceptance. But I just don't know what to do now. I know what I want to do. Answers on a post card please - first one out of the hat wins a bag of sweets or something.

So now I sit here with a cigar saying goodbye to an old friend - smoking. As of tomorrow I am a non-smoker and am going out a cloud of style. Any one wanna buy a lighter - one careful owner you know........